Resonation Diet: Week 5

Hello, fellow resonators, hope you’re all well…

So what have I been doing and contemplating in week 5?

Well, it’s been an interesting week. I felt the overwhelming urge to weigh myself. My stomach was flat, my bum was lifted, and I was feeling so healthy I needed to write down what weight I’d lost in one month so I could write it in my next entry.

So I went and bought normal scales; digital ones get on my nerves and never work right. I’d thrown my digital ones away before the new year, because each time I stood on them, they would ask me many stupid questions before telling me my weight.

1. What number person was I?

2. What height?

3, 4 and 5, I didn’t even know what it was asking, so I just pressed any old buttons over and over as I tried to keep balanced, so they didn’t switch to zero again… who has the time to waste all these precious seconds?

Also because, if I didn’t get the results I wanted it would put me off.

But, I’m now in a new frame of mind.

Me, in my right frame of mind.

So I unboxed my new ones, prepared my excitement levels to make sure I’d be happy with just 2 or 3 pounds. I waited until the very next morning when I was naked and before a brew (like you do), and… nothing!

I’ve lost a big fat zero!

My manual scales told me the same as my digital scales a month ago!!!

Me, five seconds later

Before the disappointment went from my face and into my body, I decided to be mindful right there on the spot. As I did, a lovely, patient voice drifted into my head, “Maybe my digital scales were wrong, making me out to be less than I was or maybe these scales are wrong, and they weigh people a lot more than they are”, it said.

At this point, as I stepped off, a sinister voice crept in and said, “Maybe the scales are out, they must be at least one millimetre out… this should give you pound at least”. So, I adjusted the scales, got back on and… it said the same!

I am still the same, even after moving the scales!

My old brain, on all other diets in the past, would have screamed, “Are you joking?” After all this effort, I’ve lost a big fat nothing? I ate nothing but crisps, chocolates, biscuits and mince pies the majority of November and December and I’ve been eating nothing but healthy foods in January and have nothing to show for it!”, but that old voice was a distant memory.

Instead my new louder “resonating” inner voice said, “It’s fine. I will start from these scales. It’s okay, because I’ve probably ate the same amount in calories but have had all healthy fats and oils and sugars instead, and I feel better, more energetic and cleaner inside. I have a flat stomach, my jeans are fitting me better than last month, so I must have turned the 2lb in fat I would have lost into muscle.

Me, being rational and mindful, like a good little Buddhist.

Obviously, I don’t want to be this size and muscular, but I soon got over that when I saw something on YouTube that showed 2 women side by side (or the same woman, I can’t remember), and the one who was 25lb heavier looked slimmer and fitter and more toned. Compared to the lighter weight picture, who looked bigger, she had a great, lean, muscular body that was totally defined, and not your bodybuilder type, you know, she had a figure that still had all the right curves in all the right places, but just no wobble. Stomach slim, shapely legs, perked and peachy bum; the type of woman who could walk around in a bikini all day, and get away with it. The other one’s legs were bigger and bigger with no shape. She had a bit of a belly and wasn’t fat or thin or in shape, just ordinary. The fact is, the one who was heavier looked better.

Now, I know I probably haven’t put the amount of fat I lost back on as muscle at this stage, but the fact that I do feel a bit more shrunken in, and tighter, tells me it may well be the case, so why not? The results don’t always have to be on the scales in the Resonation Diet, and, in fact, they shouldn’t be. It’s about how we feel with what we’re eating and doing and how confident we are in our clothes.

Hint, they do nice clothes for big girls too, you know! If you’re only dieting because you want to attract a mate, then that’s silly too. Your ideal mate will be someone who loves you the way you are. But you have to love you first.

My fella says he loves me the way I am, but understands that I want to lose weight, tone up and become healthier, because that’s always a good idea. Being healthy is important. Yes, he’s so good at dealing with me and the words he chooses, but I know that’s true.

I’ve been on a diet for 30 years! My old mantra, “If I weren’t constantly and actively trying new diets all this time, I would be obese now”, will now change to, “If I hadn’t started messing my own body’s signals up with diet foods, (i.e. foods that skim fat and add sugar, or foods that take sugar and add fat, or foods that weren’t sugar or fat, and fake food that it didn’t recognise), then I probably would be my ideal weight by now”.

I only started gaining weight around the time I went on diets, so when people tell me I need to eat fat to lose fat, the 30 years of conventional diet brainwashing, makes it hard for me to resonate with this knowledge.

Health or fat?

What do you see when you look at the above?

This is why I must keep reading the research to support this notion as it makes sense to to me that, even when you have eaten loads, and you’re stuffed to the brim, your body could still be searching for nutrients it feels is missing from your diet.

Why?

Because when you’ve eaten nothing but crap, it won’t recognise it as food and  therefore still make you feel hungry because of it. Then, you only reach for more crap and the cycle continues. Anyway…

Confession time. I went to my Reiki group and had chocolate biscuits in the break! I couldn’t resist. A monster jumped into my brain and took over my body and, before I knew it, my hand was reaching for the packet and stuffing them into my mouth!

“Oh no, you did..n’t”, an American voice screams in my mind.

“Whaaaaaat?”

Let me tell you, they tasted like crap and I still ate them!

What ya doing with those biscuits, Rin? I don’t know… but it feels goooooood.

It was a good thing really though because it helped me to reminded myself I don’t actually want or enjoy the crap. My body has been so used to fresh, one ingredient foods that I’ve been getting my clean taste buds back, and I now thought they tasted yucky. I actually felt sick when I came home.

The back lash wasn’t guilt and eat more because my sugar monster had woken and was screaming like a manic beast in my brain, “Give me more!”, it was more like a discovery. A great reminder to keep me on track.

Resonating foods I’ve had this week…

My vegan yoghurt raisins were nice… frozen, but nice!

When I was craving chocolate the other day, I made my home made energy bites (almond butter, honey, flax seeds, chia seeds, raisins, desiccated coconut and cocoa powder) but by the time I’d made them, the craving was over…

Anyway, on a good note, I’ve kept to the oat milk and am now onto rice milk. It’s not bad.

I’ve also been eating healthy crisps, but not too many as they’re expensive.

End of week result…

Other than the biscuit episode (where I come home stating I would bake a vegan cake for the girls to have at break time next week), I’ve been doing well. Although I’m not sure it will taste too good without sugar. I can handle stevia in my food, but I’m not sure others will; it takes a while to get used to it.

But overall, my mind about the diet is keeping well, and that’s what we’re going for on this diet, so it’s all good.

It would have been a good week if it wasn’t for the biscuits. I’ll try better next week. Maybe chop my fingers off for Reiki next week?

Until then, keep resonating.

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