Hello, fellow resonators, hope you are all well…
So, what have I been doing and contemplating in week 18?
Well, what can I say? For a start, I’ve just put down the Rich Tea biscuits to come up and write this blog, and that’s been the norm. Once again I’ve had a strange week. I started off with good intentions, but by the end of the week, with my stress levels and workload increasing, I turned into the Cookie Monster.
I did make my “ease” meditation and, apart from the day I made it, I haven’t even had time to listen to it.
I’ve also been so tired and in pain through sitting so much, that my mindful eating and drinking plan is dangling out of the window.
I have it by its ankle… but still, it’s not right. If I don’t pull myself together soon, then this diary will turn into nothing but a confessional.
I’ve been trying to annualise why, when I’m overwhelmed, do I have to turn to crap. What comfort do I get from reverting back to it?
I’ve been listening to Dr Bruce Lipton this week, and he says that our brains are mostly subconscious and will automatically run on what it remembers if our conscious mind isn’t working, and I can definitely relate this to food. What I know and love, and the habits I’ve formed over 45 years on the planet, will not be undone without continuous, conscious effort.
It doesn’t help that my lovely fella keeps bringing me treats. When he knows I’m down, stressed, having a bad book/ art week, he will bring me crap. Like my subconscious has now taught his what he needs to do to please me.
I don’t blame him; the smiles he receives for bringing me these gifts compared to the moody cretin he has to put up with without them is a no brainer for him, but it has to stop, especially after getting on the scales today and, surprise surprise, putting on weight!
I know it’s not so bad considering it’s star week and I’ve been a mindless muncher, but I had to declare this morning that there would be no more treats for me!
My fella agreed he wouldn’t bring me any. So what did I do? When I went for more art supplies (I must have painted 10 versions of the new book cover I’m going to upload this week) I bought Rich Tea biscuits and Wheat Crunchies. The reasoning? Rich tea biscuits aren’t chocolate, and they’re not as sugary as the rest, and at least Wheat Crunches have wheat in them!
I think I will start the how not to diet diet… what do you think?
I really do need to stop.
Two bad weeks in a row makes me feel sluggish, unhealthy, sulky, ashamed, unintelligent, and ugly within my own skin. What was it all for?
What was it all for?
Why did I make myself feel like this? I’ve had a few resonating foods, but the rest of the time was living of chips, peas and gravy (my favourite meal… made with fry-light), and crap. Even the fruit in my fruit bowl went off!
I’m so tired as I write this today that my eyes keep shutting and I just want to climb into the bath… if I can still fit in it that is!
Resonating foods I’ve had this week…
I had vegetables on my Sunday dinner!
End of week result…
It has to be red. And I’m not letting myself off!
I’m determined (after this packet of Rich Tea… and the fudge I have left to finish from the last treat my fella bought me) that I will do better this week.
I can’t have another red face on my blog! I will also listen to my meditation each day and say my Resonating Affirmation too.
Until next week, keep resonating!