Hello, fellow resonators, hope you are all well!
So, what have I been doing and contemplating in Week 27?
I got my book, Resonating Meditations, online for my target of the 7th of the 7th but I’ve not been able to develop Resonating Mantras this week or anything else because I’ve been finishing the artwork for a photographer who was coming on Sunday morning and trying to do new book covers for Resonating System and Resonating Affirmation. I’ve just counted my trash and ended up making 32 covers in total.
They take hours to do, and each time after I uploaded them, one thing or another was wrong. The alignment was out, or the font was out, or there was an odd lowercase letter instead of a capital. I was telling myself it was an omen – I tweaked the art on Resonating Affirmations a few times. Then, when I finally thought they were all right and uploaded them again (something else which is time-consuming), I sent them to my editor to see if she liked them and noticed a lower case letter on the Resonating affirmation cover AGAIN!!!! Arrrrrrh!
I’ve now decided it was another omen and painted lots of pink into the artwork which it didn’t have before. I will do the cover when I make the print cover for Resonating meditations. I’ve also been on Coronation Street again this week so getting to Manchester and filming all day is tiring. I’m also back again for 2 days next week too, so it’s all go.
Anyway, after this and lots more, I didn’t comfort eat! The only thing I did do was eat chocolate when I was at media city because there wasn’t much else and I needed the energy. It’s hard work being a background artist, you know!
I’m not complaining, going from support “worker” to support “artist” is totally in my vibration as to what I’m putting out there at the moment. I also wouldn’t mind a cameo part for a while to get more experience and to keep me out of the day job. As rewarding as a support worker is (or was), it’s not where I’d prefer to be.
I was listening to Oprah Winfrey this week about the time she was trying to manifest the part in The Colour Purple. She said she went to a fat farm to get the weight off thinking she wasn’t getting a call back because of her size and when Stephen Spielberg phoned, he told her not to lose a pound or she could lose the part! She said: “I have no problem not losing any weight!”
I instantly thought oh yeah, how great would that be, someone telling you you had to stay that weight for your dream role!
Then I asked myself, why did I think this was great? Why did my heart expand and shout “yes” to this, why was my thought process this way? Do I really believe that staying this size on purpose would be an excellent excuse to give people or do I think it would give me an easy life where I’m not always struggling? Do I still think dieting is struggling? I must. I must again see it as some form of sacrifice or punishment to eat consciously, intelligently, and healthily— why does my mind think like this, jump on it like it was a life-saving thought?
It was like my ego… or subconscious jumped and said “yes, that’s for me!’
It made me think back to all the times I’ve ever said I’d love for a doctor to say I needed to put on weight. I thought I was saying it because I wanted to be so slim that people would have to say this to me, but I now think was is it really so I can safely and reasonably eat crap to my heart’s content without no-one, including me, telling me that it’s wrong or that I will put on weight. I’m also wondering if it’s also because I would then feel that what I was doing was right, that my habits would then be in line with my end goal of gaining weight.
If so, how do I get my body to shout a “yes” to eating less, eating healthily, and being more mindful about my choices?
What a complex system we have. I know my schizoid mind isn’t alone in this. We all have these conflicting thoughts. We all also want to move away from pain and suffering and enjoy life. In order to do this, we need to switch the two in our minds as we eat food. When we eat healthy foods, we need to say, “I’m so thankful for this apple, nature’s natural sweet treat for me.” I want to do this more often. On the other hand, when I do eat packaged processed food, I should say “I’m not happy I have to eat this crap today. I want to make sure I eat less junk food. I wish I could eat healthy foods instead.”
This will make us go in search of healthier options.
Sweet lovers… eat dried mango…or other dried fruit.
Sweet lovers: eat dried mango or other dried fruit.
Crisp lovers: eat the actual potato with fry light.
Cheese lovers: get some natural yeast in your salads.
Chocolate lovers: eat cocoa nibs and nuts.
You can also make cakes out of almond flour.
All of the above are more expensive or time-consuming than standard bags of sweets and crips, but we need to make these simple changes each week and stick to them.
Also, we need to make sure we’re meditating and doing mantras and affirming what we want as we clean up our system and reprogram our weirdly wired brains!
Resonating foods I’ve had this week…
I’ve had hummus and carrots.
Chips and gravy.
End of week result…
A green face, again!
Until next week, keep resonating.