Hello, fellow resonators, hope you are all well…
So, what have I been doing and contemplating in Week 48?
They say feed a cold and starve a fever. I’ve decided this week that I’ve got a cold!
I don’t know if allowing myself a few carbs in the form of beans, peas and porridge last week has awoken my sugar monster but it’s definitely taken over my body and made me go on a crap-finding rampage. Maybe it’s down to the fact that I’ve still got a cold, and therefore have no energy, but I’m not resonating with the limited choices that the Keto diet gives at the moment.
I can’t eat any more cheese, olives, nuts, and bor…ing Quorn protein!!
I’ve still been eating my greens; in fact, my fellow has ordered organic kale, sprouts, and spinach this week from a place in Devon who deliver, and they have been lovely. It’s just that I’ve also been craving crisps and chocolate and have had them three times this week. I’ve not been as bad as I could have been, but I have been declaring all week “I’m having a week off,” which has lead me to go out for lunch and order a panini with no second thoughts. The thing is, after most of the non-keto meal occasions (and after really enjoying it) I’ve felt sick for a couple of hours. I think my body has become so accustomed to not eating crap that it can now tell me in the form of how rubbish I feel when I’ve eaten it.
So, if I’m back in touch with the intelligence inside my body, why do I still crave the crap?
Is it old habits creeping back in, turning to comfort foods when I’m feeling low and run down? I’m hoping not. I’m hoping maybe it’s just my body merely needing the extra energy, and my brain made the connection as to where and how I used to get a rush of it pre-keto crazy. What is fascinating to me is that no matter what binges I’ve ever gone on (and there have been ten times worse than I’ve done this week) I’ve never felt sick like I have this week, unless I eat loads, of course.
Despite my cold and tiredness, I’ve had to work hard to get everything set up on my website, so I can write my fantasy novels while my editor has a 6-week window. I write my fantasy in a different name. I start my new job tomorrow (still as a support worker for adults with learning difficulties). I’m excited to go back to the place I love, with a boss who’s allowing me to have four days off to write/continue with my buisiness, but I have to get up at 5 am and won’t get home until 11 pm. I also have to do the same again Tuesday and sleep there, so I finish work at 9am the next day. I’m expecting to be shattered by the time I finish, but I am up for the challenge of getting into a new earlier start routine.
I’m hoping I can do the same on my four days off.
I run behind schedule a lot as I always put more on my to-do list than too little. Les Brown says we should aim high and miss instead of aiming low and hitting, so it doesn’t usually bother me if I fall behind as I know I put too much on there, to begin with. This time, I’d already counted the overrun and still
couldn’t keep up.
I think maybe my body shuts down and goes into must-rest-mode sometimes, especially when I’ve booked dates off to work on my projects.
I think our bodies know when they’re allowed to take a break from muscling through and regularly doing too much and mine scheduled itself in in the time slot I had. I would usually recommend listening to your body, but I’ve had to push through it for myself, just as we do when we are employed.
Most of the time, when I don’t meet my self-induced deadlines, I can forgive myself because I purposefully do something towards achieving my goals, dreams, and aspirations every single day of the year. I do this so I can go to sleep each night knowing I’m one step further to achieving them, but this time I am getting a bit stressed with things not going to plan and taking longer because I don’t want to miss my opportunity to fit into this 6-week editing window.
So am I doing a little comfort eating after all?
I’m not sure. All I know is this week’s blog is filled with my mind on a mission to find a viable excuse because I’m not sure why I’ve done what I’ve done when I was doing so well.
It could well be all the mince pies that hit you in the face each shopping isle you go down. It could be due to the cold. If I were to make a guess, then I’d say it was due to tiredness and the stress of not getting as much done as I should. I can only do so much “efforting” in one week, so the diet, therefore, had to be the thing I forfeited.
I wish I could draw the proverbial line in the sand once and for all and not have crap ever again. If I was on a desert island with one or two things to eat then would my body succumb to it more easily or would I be sat there imagining my coconut covered in chocolate? Why wasn’t I happy having the beans and a few potatoes if I needed the carbs instead of reaching for crap? In fact, why couldn’t I have reached for a piece of fruit, something natural at least?
Actually, that’s not a bad idea. I know next week is going to be hard now I’ve poked the beast as it now wants to be fed with the foods that make it grow into an even bigger monster, so I may allow myself fruit if I’m craving, and back to full Keto if not. I have to make sure I don’t have the fat and sugar as that won’t work. I need to do whole slimming world or full Keto; a mixture isn’t right. My Quorn and vegetables can stay, my porridge too and I may treat myself to a cuppa soup as I’ve not made any fresh. My fellow will be doing something with all the organic vegetables in the form of curry, chilly and soup, so I’m looking forward to taking that to work.
In the meantime, I need to regain control. I even broke my 8-hour curfew today (usually 12-8 pm) and had honey on toast at 10.45! I was on a night of sleep at my old place last night and didn’t get to sleep and had to work until 8.30 pm tonight.
All of the above is nothing but excuses but, until the day I can give up my day job and work a proper schedule out for myself, so I never get this run down, I won’t know what the problem is. Until I can make my schedules, hence create reasonable, attainable deadlines while formulating a week for optimum health and mind, then I’m sometimes going to throw things that I don’t have the energy for out of the window.
Resonating foods I’ve had this week…
I’ve mainly been eating whatever I fancy half Keto and half crap.
End of week result…
It’s a red face this week, especially after carrying on go8ng for the chocolate the 3rd time after the first two made me feel sick. I will wean myself back into Resonating diet mode this week, Resonating with what’s healthy and only doing that, in other words, anything but known food groups that put on weight, i.e. refined sugar and fat, and see how it goes.
Until next week, keep resonating.