Hello, fellow resonators, hope you are all well…
So, what have I been doing and contemplating in Week 49?
Well, because I started my week wrong, as in I still had crap leftover from last week and decided on Monday I would eat it all so Tuesday I could start afresh, I ended up continuing the week with the old “well, I’ve started bad, so I may as well try again next week” excuse. I then carried on all week like a sugar-crazed lunatic!
The consequence of my two weeks off of the Keto diet is I’ve put on 5lb!!!!
Five freaking pounds?
It took me eight months to finally find the Keto diet and lose 5lb, and I’ve put it on in two weeks.
I can’t believe my body has soaked up everything I’ve eaten because, in retrospect to what I used to eat, it wasn’t that much. Fair enough, some of it wasn’t diet-food; it was unhealthy crap, but it was still in the bounds of what Slimming World would allow you to eat if you used Syns to account for the crap.
My body tends to hold onto everything it eats, but I’ve also felt it getting hungrier and hungrier and the cravings taking over my rational again. It was so subtle how the monster crept in and took over like it had the power to hypnotise me.
I was even saying things like “I just can’t eat eggs and cheese anymore, the diet is too hard” and though this may be true, I was never hungry or craving crap. I only craved healthy foods I’d missed like fruit, beans and potatoes. I know this craving is because I’m so tired with my new job; getting up at 5 am and not getting home until 11 pm is undoubtedly taking a toll on my body and mind, but it’s allowed my sugar-monster to have greater control over my decisions.
Even my rational mind began to agree that I needed the sugar and crap to see me through, even on my days off. I had it to keep up with the work I’d set for myself due to being tired from working on the other days. The thing is, no matter how much I try to fool myself now, come Christmas, or even the new year, I will feel so stupid and disappointed in myself if I end up putting it all back on.
That’s not how I want to end this year. This year has been a success for me in all kinds of ways, and I want to begin 2020 in a much better starting point than in 2019. I need to look back on this year and feel proud of my results and what I’ve achieved, and that includes overcoming the one thing I’ve always struggled with.
I have got one last bit of chocolate left to eat today and yes I’m going to allow myself to eat it as I’m not wasteful. I’m going to have protein and vegetables for my tea, and I’m going to start the Keto diet again properly tomorrow.
I’m working 14-hour shifts Monday and Tuesday so I need to make sure I take foods I can eat, instead of just grabbing what I can. I want my days off to fully dedicate myself to my goals as a writer, but I also need to prepare myself for these two days, so I’m not hungry.
So what can I do that won’t take too long, or make me have to get dressed and go shopping?
I will make Keto bread today for both days.
I will also make soup from all the organic vegetables we have left.
I will boil some eggs so I can take them (and nuts and cheese) for snacks.
I will also take protein and vegetables I can quickly cook at work for my teas.
I will not snack or have any of the many biscuits offered to me or purposefully buy crisps like I did this week. I am all geared up to suffer until I kill the new monster inside me that has taken over my mind. It can scream cry and throw as many tantrums and make me hear any excuses it wants, but I won’t listen. 5lb is not acceptable after all the weeks it took to get that off. Hopefully, if I’m strict, I can lose 4lb of it again this week as I’ve done on other weeks (mainly once every three weeks).
If I get my body into ketosis quick, maybe I could kick start it again as I’m sure our bodies get used to things, allowing it to keep the fat you’ve stored.
Well, now it thinks its got me back into eating what it craves to do so, I will pull the rug from under it once more, and it will have no choice but to burn those new 5 freshly sucked in pounds, and I will be laughing at the monster, back in full control as it dies a terrible death.
Considering I’m doing a shift where you sleep at the property before my work shift tomorrow, I’d say I better leave it here for this week so that I can get on with my workload as well as my cooking load! I will take some of my notes with me, but I should get an early night to prepare my body and mind for the strict returning routine it will be fighting me to abolish.
Our minds are a wonderful thing, especially when we consider the fact that we have so many of them inside us.
We need to make sure we pick the best one and focus on mastering that part of us we know will lead us to our best self, the intelligent, rational, strong one who has all the potential to be successful at anything they wish to achieve. We won’t go far wrong, if so.
Well, maybe two weeks wrong, but that’ll be it!
Resonating foods I’ve had this week…
Again, eating whatever was easy.
End of week result…
Another red face this week. I am determined not to make it a hat trick!
Until next week, keep resonating.