How to Manifest a Soulmate!

I mention in my Resonation Realm books that it took me 2 days to manifest my soulmate, but that was after attracting the wrong kinds of men, through the wrong types of thoughtlings (thoughts and feelings together), which enabled me to get a good knowledge of what I didn’t want, before putting out a new thougtling of what I did want.

Until this clarification, I had never sought out a Buddhist or “someone spiritual” who meditated and thought about the universe in the way I did. Before living with a husband who hated the fact that I had to write, especially on sunny days, I’d never thought about focussing on “finding someone creative”, who had a real understanding of the artistic process and how the muse will capture you, come rain or shine. 

Until I realised that I should have been looking for commonalities as well as my compliment all along, I kept attracting men that were a version of new thoughtlings I’d put out due to then knowing what kind of people I didn’t want because of previous relationships.

For example, I wanted a “carefree man who was happy go lucky” because of my regimented, pessimistic partner, and I found a “happy to be drunk man, who left a mess all over my home”. 

Because of this man, I wanted a “clean, tidy and orderly” man, and I found an “OCD clean freak, who would breakdown over the slightest mess”, who I could never relax with. This man, after showing how much he resented me walking a spiritual path, told me “I needed someone from the Buddhist centre” if I wanted to be a tea-total vegetarian, which, at that point, I took note of.

As my husband was hurrying me to clear out my things – as he had company that weekend due to finding someone on a dating website the moment we broke up – I decided I would find a spiritual dating website. I thought I was onto a winner but, because of my OCD husbands disdain for my values, not to mention demanding too much time away from my writing, I told the Algorithmic Zone that I “wanted someone who understood my values who wouldn’t take my time, or mind me catching up on my writing”. What did I get? “A vegan bachelor who wanted a twice per week agreement, making it clear he would never want anything more”. Was I happy with that, even though I’d requested it? No… because sleeping with someone without getting too close and imagining a future isn’t me!

When I asked if he wanted to come on a Buddhist retreat, he told me he couldn’t give me what I wanted and ended it.

It was then that I sat down and pondered “What the hell do I actually want, regardless of what I’ve been through before?”

All my life up to that point I’d had chosen partners who liked who I was at first, then began to resent it, (or as I see now put on an act to impress, pretending they’re okay with my “ways” until they decide they can no longer hide their Opinions for them) when it should have been me who thought in depth about who I would really like (as in respect and admire as well as personality) and wanted. 

The fact was, all I ever really wanted was a best-mate type of man to love and have a laugh and share good times with who was kind, calm, respectful and understanding. I always used to add that I wanted a man with tattoos, and who was four stone heavier than me, but that’s only because of my insecurities that (if they didn’t have them) they wouldn’t like mine, and because if they were bigger than me, then I wouldn’t feel as fat. I actually refused to go out with a perfect man for me (a psychic and perfectly lovely kind man who I got on extremely well and felt comfortable with) because he was 12 stone and almost six foot when I was 10 stone and five foot four, and used the excuse “he doesn’t have tattoos”. He even told my friend (who was trying to set us up) that he’d get a tattoo! I almost caved in, telling myself he obviously liked me the weigh I was, and now new I had tattoos, and that I’d get down to my ideal weight and fatten him up if I still felt uncomfortable in myself, but she never asked me again… even though he asked her to.

Lesson learned. By the time I’d come to my senses, he’d had a child with his ex. I told myself that child was meant to enter the world so I was glad for not stopping that but I wasn’t about to let my hang ups stop me being with a potential soul mate again; I was already blocking enough with my preferences… which I didn’t need to do. The universe is well aware of what I don’t want each time I come up against it, there’s no need to vibrationally add the condition of there being an opposite to them when I put in the vibration of what I prefer.

So, here I was with this light bulb moment, contemplating what I’d ask for if I’d had no triggers at all. Hmmm, I ask for a partner I could live with even before all my books were written, one who was creative enough to understand I had to write them, and even get involved in my long-term plans of being a self-publishing indie author entrepreneur, maybe even a musician who would love to write songs with me. 

This time, I was also willing to leave the tattoo part out; it didn’t matter if they didn’t have them, only that they were okay with mine. I’d already lowered my weight stipulation vibrationally so I didn’t need to stipulate “I don’t wan’t slimmer than me” as I knew by this point I’d probably end up with someone extremely overweight.

Once I knew what I really wanted, and cleared my negative, tarnished vibrations, I was free to write this clear, aligned, excited list of exactly what I wanted. 

My pen wouldn’t stop. This is what I wrote… 

“Dear universe, and all the forces that lie within it and myself, I am now ready for my true love. I, therefore, want someone who is on their own spiritual path, who likes to meditate and maybe do yoga, and who is creative in his own way and therefore, understanding and maybe even helpful to my own creativity. He needs to be calm, patient, gentle and have a lovely, genuine soul, whose honest and trustworthy essence will shine through his face and who is not afraid to look me deep in the eyes. I want him to be someone I can contemplate the universe with, who will be relaxed and go with the flow, and accept that I want to live on my own for now, yet fully be there for me as a solid partner who wants to build and plan a future with me, where we will one day live together. Someone who will dance around the room in fits of joy and be silly with me, someone who doesn’t care what others think because they know in themselves they are good and who will be a good influence on me. Someone who has good ethics and principles, someone who is their own person with their own mind, like me, and yet who will help me broaden mine and deepen my own spirituality and explore things I haven’t even thought of yet on my own path. Someone who the Algorithmic Zone knows will suit me right now (and forever as I grow, because he is growing too). Someone who I will appreciate now, and more as time goes on due to our relationship deepening. Someone who I know and trust is pure and wonderful. He will be looking for someone as ‘mad/daft’ as I am. He will actually love the fact that I’m writing my own books and creating meditations, mantras and spiritual music and that I’m living by spiritual principles. He will want what I offer him: a best-mate for a partner, someone to have and to hold fully, someone who will give her heart entirely, and someone he can fully trust who will provide him with pure, unconditional love. He will be someone who will embrace and appreciate the love I have to give and who will love me for who I am, and yet support me in any future goals or changes that will occur. We will both be thankful to the universe for our coming together. Thank you in advance, and so let it be.”

I was so happy at that moment, writing my in-depth list, that I felt I’d already got him. I felt the sublime vibration of what I wrote, as if I was holding him in my arms. I was happy with nothing, just the feeling. I was glad to wait, but I also decided that I would do a ritual. 

I dimmed the lights, lit candles and incense, sat on my meditation cushion with binaural beats and peaceful music playing and sent out love from my heart to his, like he was a real human. I visualised a heart bubble expanding across space and time from my heart to his, wherever he was on the planet, and that he was feeling it, feeling me, so he would know me and feel that twinkle of love in his heart when I met him.

I visualised treating this man with such love and care, always being in appreciation mode for the person he is and, as I said goodnight to him, I felt the weight of his hand in mine.

There was no conflict, no resistance, no asking for what I didn’t want, no doubting I couldn’t have the specifics; I felt him in all the correct ways. I was genuinely thankful and grateful he was mine already.

You may think I was being over the top, but I knew I must feel this in my being more than anything else I’d ever communicated an “ask” for into my Resonation Realm so the inclines and awareness of him would be clearly downloaded into my blueprint, and therefore I could to be lead to him with ease. I knew if I were confused in my vibration once more, giving out what I wanted based on what I didn’t want, I wouldn’t be guided to my perfect someone. And guess what? After I told the universe what I wanted, this man was brought to my inner awareness in two days! 

I was already on the spiritual dating website (which I came across through various hints from IT) and even clicked on his profile before I clicked on the vegan bachelor I met because he had kind eyes, but he lived a bit too far so I stuck with the vegan and thought nothing else of him until after that ended and he messaged me and, as soon as we started communicating, I knew he was the guy I intended to have all along.

The most beautiful thing about finding out he was everything on my list and more was the fact that I wasn’t shocked. I actually believed this man existed and that the Algorithmic Zone would be lead me to him with the visceral YES feeling inside my gut. I knew in my clear thoughtling state of communication that I’d get him.

The old saying when things go well for people is ‘I can’t believe it.’ Well, I really could believe it. I’d found my perfect match, my soul mate, my longed-for partner I thought I could never have! In fact, (to quote Madonna) I didn’t know how lost I’d been until I found him.

It felt so natural and beautiful. And I knew he was for keeps! 

How did I know? Because, I knew I would always be forever thankful to the universe for alerting me to him, and I will appreciate him every day for who he is, and remember how grateful I am he’s part of my life. Which is exactly how I felt as I wrote this, four years later… and still feel as I’m updating for Medium.com seven years on!

Some relationships, especially when the initial buzz of just fancying someone has gone, end up going stale as time goes on because they find that they don’t really know the person, or even like or respect the person. Some go stale because they have nothing in common, and what once used to impress them now annoys them. With us, I know we will never be bored. Rockets of new desires are being born between us all the time. 

He’s a musician, and I’m a songwriter, so we’ve been writing songs and recording unique Resonating Music with OM AH HU chants and binaural beats. We do yoga together and try to do our own kind of couple’s meditations, where we breathe into one another, which gives us a profound and meaningful connection. He dances with me. He embraces the love I have to offer and hugs me like his life depends on it. He looks deep into my eyes to view my soul. He’s into Reiki. He not only understands I need my separate space, but he has also been doing the same in his studio, getting better with his own music and helping me with mine for the Omnipion.com business, creating covers and trailers for my urban fantasy books I write under the name Debbie Zain. 

This was the reason I moved in with him quicker than I had previously put out that I wanted to. He’s always understood that I needed time to write, yet still wanted to live with me regardless. 

He’s also two and a half stone heavier so when I lose my two stone he will be my usual recommended 4 stone heavier, and I even liked the fact that he hadn’t got any tattoos until he said he wanted one and got one of a dove, which represents him fully. He also loves me with the overweight body I have, but does support the fact that I am aiming for my optimum fitness and health.

Basically, he’s all the things on my list and a whole lot more, and I’m so happy I asked the Algorithmic Zone to help me find him!

So, there it is. The simple key to finding someone that resonates with you is to put out a clear thoughtling of who and what you want, not based on what you don’t due to the past, leaving all negative connotations out of the equation. Conjure the feelings you’d have if that person was already in your life, the appreciative, grateful, loving, blissful feelings while sending them your love and they will know it when they receive it…when your ESS is aware they’re the one, they’ll feel it too.